Genuine transcripts from Swedish courts
Lawyer: – Are you sexually active?
Witness: -No, I just lie there…
Lawyer: – Your birthday?
Witness: – 18 July.
Lawyer: – Which year?
Witness: – Each year
Lawyer: – Can you tell me doctor, if a man dies in his sleep he doesn’t know it until next morning?
Doctor: – And you have been accepted as a lawyer??
Lawyer: – The baby was thus conceived on the 8th of August?
Witness: – Ye
Lawyer: – Can you tell us what you were doing then?
Witness: – Well…, I got fucked…
Lawyer: – What ended your marriage?
Witness: – Death.
Lawyer: – Whose death ended your marriage?
Witness: – I need another lawyer! Can I get another lawyer?
Lawyer: – What time did you begin the obduction?
Doctor: – About nine in the evening.
Lawyer: – Mr Danielsson was dead at this time?
Doctor: – No, he sat on the table and was wondering why I was doing the obduction
Lawyer: – Doctor, before you began your obduction did you check whether the person examined had a pulse?
Doctor: – No
Lawyer: – Blood pressure?
Doctor: – No
Lawyer: – Breathing?
Doctor: – No
Lawyer: – Is it possible that the patient might have been alive then?
Doctor: – No
Lawyer: – How can you be so certain?
Doctor: – His brain was in a glas jar on the next table.
Lawyer: – I see. Was there any chance that the patient was alive then?
Doctor: – Well, he may have been alive and working as a lawyer
